by Sarah
What is madness but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance?
--Theodore Roethke, "In a Dark Time"
Yet madness is often seen as a personal flaw, something to be "fixed". This is what I feared in 1996, when I began to learn some things about myself. I was frightened--most of all, I was frightened that what I was learning would make me less acceptable, more "flawed"--flawed enough that I would be ridiculed by my family, flawed enough that I would not be treated equally as a professional or viewed as credible in my field of interest.
But to ignore what I was learning would only have kept me from growing. I didn't want to be a slave to pain anymore. I wanted to be free: free to feel, free to love, free to be who I really am.
So I chose a couple of trusted friends to confide in, and I began my journey in earnest. Along the way, I have discovered that people are much more accepting and willing to provide encouragement and support than I ever dreamed possible. It is that discovery that allows me to share my story openly, and I share it in the hope that it will encourage someone else who might need to know that going on this journey is worthwhile. I pray that it blesses you.