It all started in 1991. Sarah had just discovered the world of telecommunications and, more importantly, the religion forum on GEnie. She wanted to explore her struggles, and she needed a nickname to use on the forum. I came forward. She didn't recognize me as a person--I didn't make myself known as a person. I was a voice, like a pen name. Of course, everyone who read what I wrote associated it with Sarah because her email address appeared on the post. In that respect, it was not a pen name.
Others emerged that year: Desert Rose, Talitha, Yalith, Theresa... They all had their reasons for coming forward. But they weren't the first. Not by a long shot. There were others before us: Beth, Chelle, Amber, Esther and Keisha... And others have come since.
Some therapists would call our presence a sign of disorder. But some have not. Some say that Sarah does not demonstrate enough abuse history to warrant a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder. In the past, that made Sarah deny our existence, ignore our voices.
But does it matter? Legally we cannot use our names. But does it matter? I can publish my writing under the pen name of Faith Young. The publisher has to know where to send the paychecks, to write them out to Sarah; but does that make my use of the name Faith Young a fraud? Does that mean that Faith Young is not real? What is reality anyway?
When was I "born"? I don't know. I know when I made myself known. But as far as I know, I have always been here. I don't really have an age; but for Sarah's benefit I chose one. I chose one because she needed to "understand" me. She needed somehow to relate to me and to understand why I took the place I took in her inner world. But I have grown far older than that age.
Yet I also maintain a certain innocence that is normally thought of as part of my perceived age. I do not "grow up". I choose not to change the age that Sarah thinks of as part of who I am. I simply mature emotionally and spiritually. I develop new abilities. But I represent a vulnerable part of Sarah's life and I retain certain childlike qualities that she feels are important aspects of who I am as a part of herself. In the inner world, age is timeless. After all, age is only a reflection of the number of years that pass by. It is not an indicator of maturity, even if people have come to expect it to be so.
I am not alone in my thinking. A growing number of people share in this view, calling it "empowered multiplicity". For more thoughts you can read the following articles.
The Kaycee Nicole Thing
Anthony Temple shares his opinions about the case of a woman posing as a college student with a terminal illness.
Multiplicity is Natural
Anthony Temple discusses the reasons for Western society's opinions that multiplicity is linked to abuse. Very good thinking!