by Sarah J. Blake
Finding a quality child care provider is often a source of much stress for the parents of a child with special needs. Often child care workers are afraid of the possibility of law suits if a child with disabilities is injured. Some may feel inadequately prepared and thus hesitate to accept a child with special medical needs or disabilities. Some are open to the possibility but need some help to overcome fears and misconceptions about disabilities. Educating staff about your child's needs can help to alleviate these fears and can help to make the experience a positive one for staff and children alike.
From the teacher's standpoint, here's what I'd like to have from a parent who had a child with special needs coming into my classroom:
What does she like to do most? What does she dislike? Does she have any strong aversions?
In my work as a child care provider, I try to know each child's interests, likes, and dislikes. This not only helps with soothing a child who is unhappy, but it also helps me to find ways to make the child care experience a positive one. If a child has a strong aversion to certain stimuli, I can take this into account when planning activities and either provide extra encouragement and support or arrange for the activity to be elective.
What makes her upset or angry? What helps when she's upset or angry?
Soothing unhappy children is an everyday part of a child care provider's job. When a child is unhappy, it is very helpful to understand what the cause may be, particularly if it is not something that can be seen. This is particularly true when the child cannot speak or is too young to put her thoughts in words. If the room is noisy and the noise is "overwhelming," the answer is to find a way to reduce the stimulation and help her feel secure. If she is hypersensitive to touch when she is in this state, holding her may add to the problem rather than sooth it.
What does she need help with, and how should I or other children help her? What things should I allow or encourage her to do for herself?
When a child has a disability, people naturally form perceptions about what she may need help to do. For instance, when I was a child, people assumed that since I could not see I would need to be guided everywhere. However, there are many ways of knowing where I am which do not require sight. I often became annoyed and felt smothered when people insisted on guiding me, even if I did not know how to get to a destination. A child care provider who understood how to give good verbal directions was a great help in alleviating this problem. Not only did she encourage and respect my need for independence; but she also modeled behavior that other children learned to immitate. In this way, she also taught them to encourage and respect my independence.
Are there things she shouldn't do?
Sometimes diseases or conditions make it dangerous for a child to participate in certain activities. A simple example of this is the child who has life-threatening allergies. There may be certain substances she should not be exposed to, and she may or may not understand this or be able to communicate it. Another example is the child who is at risk for detaching retinas. She is likely to be prohibited from playing contact sports, and I as a child care provider need to be alert to the potential impact of injuries such as bumps on the head or black eyes.Are there any aspects of home life I might need to understand?
I had a little girl in class one summer who lived near a cemetery. She asked many questions about death and seemed very anxious. I asked her mom if something was wrong, and she explained the situation and thanked me for noticing and talking to the little girl about it.)
Would you like for me to talk to other classmates about your child's needs and help them understand how to include her?
When I was a child, my blindness was probably discussed minimally--enough to find out that the child care center would accept me. I had difficulty relating to other children, and I had little interest in spending a couple of hours every day running around the playground alone. Until I came up with the idea of bringing some small dolls to play with, I spent many afternoons sitting alone in the shade on the porch outside the building, withdrawing into my own "inner world" for entertainment. This was nothing new to me--I was often left with nothing to do after finishing school assignments or while waiting for the school bus.
The child care providers (probably mostly college-age girls) usually congregated on the porch and kept watch over the children on the playground from a distance, leaving only to intervene when shouting instructions had no effect. Often they had very personal conversations while watching; and they were obviously uncomfortable with my presence during these conversations. "Why don't you go play?" they often asked within the context of beginning one of their personal rants about a boyfriend or other "adult" topics.
I did not tell the child care providers why I wouldn't go play. Had they been truly aware of what was going on around the playground, they would have known that I usually played alone and that my attempts to initiate play with other children had been futile. They would have seen that my sister introduced me only to have the other child walk away as if I did not exist; however, the "teachers" were responsive only to glaring signs of trouble: fighting or injuries. From my observation, they had little tolerance for minor complaints which they assumed children could solve if they tried hard enough. Structured play in which inclusion of all children was both encouraged and modeled would have helped tremendously. Neither my parents nor the child care providers did this. Even within an unstructured play period, an active and responsible child care provider can step in and provide some guidance.
On the other hand, intervention is sometimes a reminder for parents or for the child of unprocessed grief or painful memories; and sometimes parents prefer that the disability not be discussed. This is something that a child care provider needs to know. If this is your preference, be aware that children may ask about your child's disability and this can create a very awkward situation. How many situations would have been easier if I had just understood that someone had a disability and how the disability affected her!
Does your child have dietary limitations that must be followed strictly?
If your child has severe food allergies or special nutritional needs, it is vital that you explain her diet to her child care providers. Ask that information about her dietary restrictions be provided to all staff and stubstitutes who may be responsible for her care. Often child care staff provide snacks in the morning and afternoon as well as lunch. Not only should staff be aware of what not to feed your child; but they should also be aware of what to keep your child from eating while other children have different food at the table. One child's mother provided me with her snacks designed to meet her special needs. This was very helpful; however, I found that almost invariably the child was fascinated by whatever other children were eating, even though she had her own snack. If eating other children's snack food would have placed her at risk for serious health problems, I would have needed to understand this and closely monitor her activity while other food was on the table.
Does your child have scars or a hidden medical condition that the child care provider should know about?
Child care providers are required by law to report any signs of abuse or neglect. If your child has had surgery in the past resulting in scars, or if she has feeding problems that cause difficulty gaining weight, these are things that a child care provider should know ahead of time. If she has a medical condition such as hypoglycemia or epilepsy that may cause unusual symptoms or behavior, child care staff need to know how to respond and when to seek medical attention or contact you.
Oh, and please do tell me when I did something you like. I'd like to know so that I'll know what's working and can do it again.
Finally, communicate with the child care provider. Ask her to spend some time interacting with your child while you are present so that you can help facilitate rapport. Often the best antidote to fear is exposure to the child! Ask if she has other questions about your child, disability-related or not.